


He could do really weird things with his tongue #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 23

by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)



Series: Ineffable Valentines 2020 [23]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: #ineffableValentines2020, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Boys Kissing, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), French Kissing, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Ineffable Valentines (Good Omens), Ineffable Valentines 2020 (Good Omens), Kissing, M/M, Valentines, he could do really weird things with his tongue, ineffable valentines, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22788688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapheapchallenge/pseuds/GayDemonicDisaster
Summary: When Aziraphale embarrasses Crowley, the demon sets out to get revenge in the best way he knows how. If this involves winding his angel up until he can barely hold back, so much the better.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Valentines 2020 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618783
Comments: 30
Kudos: 111
Collections: Crack Fic Comedy Porn, Ineffable Valentines 2020





	He could do really weird things with his tongue #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 23

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miele_Petite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miele_Petite/gifts).



“It’s ineffable.”

Crowley looked at him askance. “I’m not eff-able?” He was confused, plenty of people had found him very F-able, he thought at least that Aziraphale might be one of them, given that he had, in fact, fucked the demon on several occasions so far.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes at him with a sigh. “How long, precisely, have you been waiting to try that line, Crowley? Is that why you tricked me into uttering that word in the first place?”

Crowley smirked and giggled. “Oh come on, that was a good one, admit it.”

“You are incorrigible.”

“Demon.” He reminded him with a sly grin.

“As if I’d ever forget, you slithering serpent, squirming your way into my underwear at every opportunity. You really are quite insatiable.”

Crowley grinned wider, with a jaunty pleased tip of his head that indicated he was proud of this fact, and happy it had been noticed.

“You haven’t complained yet.” He reminded the angel with a wink.

Aziraphale tried to suppress a smile of his own, then swiftly reached across and gave Crowley’s crotch a quick squeeze, drawing a surprised gasp from his lover.

“Aziraphale! We’re in a bloody public park, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh, getting all prudish now are you?” the angel taunted wickedly. He leaned sideways and placed his lips up against Crowley’s ear, whispering in a low undertone: “and if I really want to, I wouldn’t be above bending you over this park bench, yanking those ridiculous tight jeans down and taking you right here in broad daylight, leaving it to you to decide if I miracled everyone’s attention away or not.”

Crowley’s jaw dropped. He found himself quite unable to find any words whatsoever to respond to that remark. His eyes found Aziraphale’s, which were devilishly taunting, one eyebrow raised and a smirk plastered across his features at the demon’s discomfiture.

This simply would not do. This level of salaciousness from his angel could not go unchallenged, making him rock hard in public with a shameless display like that. He had to take revenge. He had to make Aziraphale squirm just as badly. By the time they got home, no… by the time they got back to the  _ car _ , they’d be ready to rip each other’s clothes off in frustration. It was  _ on _ .

Crowley’s mind whirled. Right. “C’mon, Angel, ice cream?” He stood up and stretched languorously, reaching his arms into the air and rippling his abdominal muscles right in front of Aziraphale’s face, then slowly turning so his tightly wrapped perfect arse was on full display at eye level for the seated angel. He looked over his shoulder, glimpsed a tight-lipped swallow from Aziraphale and smirked. He extended a gentle hand to his love to help him up, and gave a little squeeze before tugging him into a kiss as he stood.

Crowley snaked his free hand around Aziraphale’s waist and pulled him close, then pushed his tongue between those soft lips into an indecently passionate snog, with a subtle grind of his hips against the angel before breaking off and slinking ahead toward the ice cream cart further down the path. He amped up his saunter to the max, slipping his hips in his full-on fierce model strut, knowing full well that Aziraphale’s eyes behind him would be locked inexorably on his swaying behind. 

He paused for dramatic effect and did a half turn, running his hand up through his own short spiky red hair to ruffle it, treating Aziraphale to a seductive half smile and a brief lick of his lower lip while he caught up. Yup, the angel was looking flustered already, the shoe was on the other foot now. He took Aziraphale’s arm in his and slunk alongside. He stopped and casually leaned on the railings next to the ice cream cart, ordering a 99 flake for Aziraphale and a strawberry lolly for himself.

He peeled the wrapper off and considered the long, pink, vaguely phallic treat for a moment, licking his lips, knowing that Aziraphale was watching him from the corner of his eye. He then allowed his tongue to lengthen slightly and slowly licked from the base of the lolly all the way to the tip in one long swipe. He smacked his lips appreciatively, then twirled his unnaturally long tongue in a spiral down the ice pop and slurped up again, before taking it all into his mouth, essentially deep throating it and pulling it back out with another satisfied lick.

Crowley glanced sideways to where Aziraphale stood, mouth open wide, his ice cream untouched and dripping slowly down the cone onto his hand, unheeded. “Got a drip there, Angel” Crowley observed, and ducked down and slurped the leaking ice cream off his lover’s knuckles, up the side of the cone and up to the tip. He licked a little harder to get a blob of ice cream on his tongue, then pressed forward to kiss Aziraphale’s open mouth with his own tongue still covered in ice cream for him.

Aziraphale’s eyes flew wide and he whimpered into the kiss. Crowley explored the inside of his mouth thoroughly with his tongue then withdrew with a wicked grin. He espied a bowl of cherries on top of the ice cream cart for decorating the treats with. He snapped a coin into his fingers, plonked it on the stainless steel counter and picked up one of the cherries by the stem. With a wink at the vendor, who looked mildly surprised but hastily looked away in embarrassment.

Crowley gripped the stem in his teeth then placed the cherry to Aziraphale’s lips, encouraging him to bite it, which he did. Crowley tugged the stem off and tucked it into his own mouth, fiddled for a second then presented it again on his tongue, tied into a perfect pretzel shape. Aziraphale glared at him, shifting uncomfortably and trying to close his coat a little further to conceal his crotch. Crowley spat the stem aside and grinned, bringing his strawberry lolly back up to his mouth and licking it all over in a shameless display of mock fellatio. Aziraphale narrowed his eyes and bit the chocolate flake in half with rather more viciousness than was strictly necessary.

They wandered through the park arm in arm for a while, then paused to watch some musicians on the bandstand. Crowley rested his chin on his angel’s shoulder then sneaked his tongue out to lick at Aziraphale’s ear, tickling it with a light hiss and making him squirm, especially as Crowley’s tongue was cold from finishing his ice. Aziraphale’s ice cream was half eaten, the cone itself still intact. Crowley’s eyes darted down and he had an idea.

Aziraphale felt his hand enveloped by Crowley’s, lifting the cone up to shoulder level, then a ludicrously long tongue dipped down into the centre of the cone and slurped  _ all _ the way to the very bottom, clearing all the dripping cream out in one go, and then once again pressing into a messy, creamy kiss with the unprotesting angel. He lifted off and noticed there was another drip of melted ice cream on Aziraphale’s finger so he lifted the now empty cone from his unprotesting hand, raised that hand to his lips, then twirled his tongue out and around his sweet finger before sucking it lasciviously into his mouth while making direct eye contact with Aziraphale. He allowed his tongue to go even more serpentine and split at the end, wrapping both tips around the angel’s finger and drawing it all the way up and off the end, then letting him go again and placing the cone back in his hand with a wink.

“C’mon, let’s go get a drink, Angel.” Aziraphale stared at him blankly for a moment before following, crunching on the empty waffle cone distractedly, not quite sure what to do with himself.

Crowley led the way to a small café in the park, grabbed a table and ordered a pot of tea for his angel, then a long cold hibiscus drink over ice for himself. Aziraphale stirred the teabag in the pot then watched as the waitress placed the tall highball glass in front of Crowley. The demon considered it carefully, then ran one fingertip up the the icy cold condensation on the outside, brought the droplet of condensate on his finger up to his lips then licked it off.

Not satisfied with this little display, he lifted the glass and licked the outside of it, from the base to the rim, drawing his long tongue up the glass slurping the condensation from it in a blatantly overt display for his angel. He then drained the glass in one long draught, his long elegant throat rippling with each gulp, swallowing it all down.

The demon then placed the glass down on the table, empty save for the ice cubes, which he stared at for a moment, then extended his tongue, ridiculously long now, right to the bottom of the glass, curled it around an ice cube and drew it up into his mouth to crunch it with every sign of enjoyment. Aziraphale kicked him under the table.

“What?”

“Fiend.” Aziraphale hissed at him.

Crowley grinned. “Demon.”

“Such a shameless display, and that nonsense with the cherry stem…”

Crowley licked his lips, then shut his mouth again, his jaw muscles working under his skin, looking thoughtful, then opened his mouth again and stuck his tongue out.

He’d knotted it into a pretzel shape.

Aziraphale’s jaw dropped. “For heaven’s sake, Crowley….”

The demon giggled and mumbled around his predicament “you make me tongue tied.” At least that’s what Aziraphale deciphered from the attempt at speech. Crowley un-knotted his tongue again. “Home time, Angel?”

Aziraphale pursed his lips and lowered his brows threateningly. “When I get you back to the car, you absolute menace...,” leaving the threat, or promise, unsaid.

Crowley laughed. “You might want to manifest yourself a vulva before we get there, Angel, might be more fun today with what I have in mind for you…” He grinned again “You’re blushing redder than a baboon’s arse.”

Crowley mentally chalked it up as a victory, making his angel squirm twice as badly as he had for the park bench comment.

It took a minor demonic miracle to black out the windows of the Bentley when they got back to the car park, it’s a shame he forgot to soundproof it as well. Crowley’s clothes did not survive the incident and lay in shreds on the back seat. Just as well he could miracle up a fresh outfit spun from raw firmament. He glanced across at Aziraphale in the passenger seat on the way home, damp hair clinging to his sweaty forehead, absolutely ravished. The angel flicked his gaze across at Crowley. “This isn’t over, you fiend.” He promised.


End file.
